Owl Post
by Sarah Elisabeth
Summary: A love story of sorts, told through intimate letters. RemusSeverus READ & REVIEW
1. Owls One through Five

Written in much the same way as Richardson's _Clarissa_, this is a love story of sorts, told through intimate (or not) letters. Remus/Severus

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything but the plot I have come up with. Having said this, leave me alone.

**Owl Post (Owls One-Five)**

_By Sarah Elisabeth_

**The first owl: Lily Evans to Remus J. Lupin**

Remus J. Lupin. You must tell me the truth in it's entirety, for, should you chose to lie to me, I can assure you that I will find out either way and make you sorely regret it.

Rumor has it that you were involved in somewhat of an _altercation_ with Severus Snape. I say altercation here because I simply do not know what else to call it. If it's true, well then, I simply wish you had trusted us as your friends and told us. If it's false, then I don't wish to accuse you of something you might take offense to. Seriously Remus, it pains me to say this but I never did get to know you as well as I might have hoped to. You're very guarded even at your most relaxed of moments.

Having said all this, I must get to the point that James and Sirius are worried. They haven't heard from you since the last full moon and with these rumors and you ignoring their owls, they do not know what to think.

I've taken it upon myself to write to you in hopes that you will not ignore my letters as well as theirs. We care so much about you Remus, so please let us know that you are all right.

Also, if it is not asking too much, do let us know what has happened!

Your friend,

_Lily Evans_

**The second owl: Remus J. Lupin to Lily Evans**

Your worry is misplaced. I am fine. I always am. The rumors for the most part are true, yet how they got out of Hogwarts during winter break is beyond me.

To put it simply, I cornered Severus in the hall and kissed him. Passionately I dare say. And he got extremely aggravated, as I no doubt would expect from him.

But then, I assume this is what you've heard? And I suppose you might want the whole story. I'm not sure how well I can give it to you, though I will try.

First, I've liked Severus for a while now. Why do you think I was so angry when Sirius tried to kill him last year? There is, obviously, the whole thing about him trying to use me to _murder_, but it was also the horror in my mind at the thought of ME killing SEVERUS. I couldn't bear the thought of it, so I ignored everyone for a while and then got over it. What else is there to do?

Anyway, I figured that after nearly killing the guy, there was no way he'd every want anything to do with me. I figured correctly, for if you remember last year at all after the incident, you will remember that he avoided me like the plague after it happened. That was somewhat of a blow, but there wasn't anything I could do about it then. I pushed Severus into the back of my mind and ignored all thoughts of him.

So, I was greatly surprised this year to find that none other than Severus Snape would be my partner in potions. He was extremely upset, but couldn't complain without giving away my secret. I was happy that you, James and Sirius were on the other side of the classroom and that I could spend some time alone.

Or as alone as one can be in a class of about twenty students.

Still, my admiration for Severus grew, and he continued to be openly hostile to me, as usual.

Have you ever looked at his hands? They're beautiful. I sound rather like a girl at this moment I suppose, but they really are.

I'll continue my story at a later time as it seems I've an important matter to attend to.

Please enjoy your holiday, and tell James and Sirius I say hello.

Remus

**The third owl: Severus Snape to Remus J. Lupin**

What are you playing at, Lupin?

If this is another one of those sick games you and your _friends_ like to play, then you had better watch your back.

Also, just because I played along doesn't mean I was serious. Because I wasn't. It didn't mean anything.

That is all.

**The fourth owl: Remus J. Lupin to Lily Evans**

Honestly Lily, I just received a letter from Severus. That was the reason for ending my letter to you so abruptly. It seems he thinks that this is another one of Sirius and James' tricks. Have I ever really taken part in them?

Okay, I might have just stood back and let them carry on, but I've never actually participated. Anyway, this helps make sense out of some things for me. It actually means that I might be better off than I had originally thought myself to be.

Who knows? Maybe once you return I can show you the letters he's sent me—for I do plan on making him write me back. It should be interesting.

I will let you know more as it occurs.

Remus

**The fifth owl: Sirius Black to Remus J. Lupin**

_Snivillus? _Remus! I knew you were gay, but blind!?! This is news to me.

Having said this, I am simply writing to make sure you can still read and that your brain hasn't been addled or something of the sort. Honestly mate, SNAPE?

Please write me back and let me know that you are joking. James and I are worried.

Forever your best mate,

Padfoot


	2. Owls Six through Ten

Written in much the same way as Richardson's _Clarissa_, this is a love story of sorts, told through intimate (or not) letters. Remus/Severus

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything but the plot I have come up with. Having said this, leave me alone.

**Owl Post (Owls Six-Ten)**

_By Sarah Elisabeth_

**The sixth owl: Severus Snape to Bellatrix Black**

Bellatrix,

Sirius Black has been sending me ridiculous, yet threatening owls on the hour, every hour, for the past two days.

If your blood-traitor cousin comes within five feet of me during Christmas holiday, I might have to kill him and I refuse to be held accountable.

Severus

**The seventh owl: Bellatrix Black to Severus Snape**

My dear Severus. If my _darling_ cousin comes within five feet of you during this holiday I am certain it will be only because of his learning of your new found _taste_ in partners. Honestly Severus, kill him for all I care, but don't think I hold you in much higher regard.

Bedding a Gryffindor is not something to be proud of unless you've managed to conquer him against his will or know how to use it against him in some way.

Bella

**The eighth owl: Remus J. Lupin to Severus Snape**

Severus,

I'm not exactly sure what you mean by "game." I'm not playing any game with you.

Perhaps you could be more explicit?

Remus

**The ninth owl: Remus J. Lupin to Lily Evans**

I think it's time for me to continue what my first letter to you.

So, where did I leave off? I believe that I'd said that Severus and I had become partners in Potions. It gave me quite an opportunity to observe him up close and learn just how _brilliant_ he is. You all put it off to him having nothing better to do than put his head in his books—which I'm certain is half of it—but honestly, it seems to come natural to him.

The things I learned just from working with him were incredible. He carries a vast amount of knowledge on nearly every subject I can think of, and while he ignored me for the most part, choosing to mainly concentrate on our assignments, there were moments when he'd seem to forget he hated the Marauders and anyone who had anything to do with them and we would end up having wonderfully heated discussions.

For instance, there was this one time while we were working on the Draught of the Living Death and he started telling me how the book we were using was completely useless in it's directions. He read them once (and I want to put as much stress on the word "once" as possible, for he really did read it only once) and then came up with his own. The potion was done in half the time and, as I'm sure you recall, was the best in class. He managed to explain it all to me as though it were something anyone with eyes and a brain could have figured out. I'm good at potions, but nowhere near the level he is at. I doubt I ever will be.

Basically, that was the way it went for the first part of the year. We went to Potions and worked together as civilly as possible, sometimes partaking in conversation. But, I used every moment to my advantage and I learned a lot about him.

One thing is that his eyes always give him away. We're so used to seeing his face in one of two expressions: emotionless or sneering, but no one really looks at his eyes. They give him away. It unnerved him to no end to have me look him in the eye when we spoke. Recently though, and much to my dismay, he seems to be better at keeping his eyes emotionless as well. I'm working my way around that.

Another thing about him is that he's a perfectionist. Obviously in school work etc. etc. ad nauseam. But also when it comes to taking care of his possessions. Especially books. Or maybe only books—I can't say I've seem much of him in other settings. But you know my love of books. His love of books is quite appealing to me. He writes in them though. That I can't stand.

Also, he's prone to blushing. I've made him do it multiple times from the simplest of gestures. An accidental brush of the hands, a comment about this or that. It's very, and this sounds rather odd as I'm talking about Severus Snape here, but cute? Perhaps not the best word.

Am I making you uncomfortable? I received an owl from Sirius. I've made him uncomfortable. Tell him to piss of for me, will you?

I think I've lost track of what I've been trying to tell you. It's all very confusing in my mind. Needless to say, I'm very conniving for a Gryffindor (perhaps it's because of my technically being a dark creature?) and I planned on getting what I want. You all went away for Christmas and Severus and I spent time together as there really wasn't anyone else for either of us to talk to. After three days of talking to him, I grew tired of the slow way which things were developing, pushed him up against the wall, and kissed him.

It was quite a kiss, let me tell you, and he enjoyed it well enough until he realized what he was doing I suppose, at which point he pushed me away. I smiled, and left without a word.

I assume word might have gotten out because of the portraits. They can't keep a secret. Anyway, Severus is claiming he knows it's a game (which it's not—not _really_) and that he knew what I was doing and was playing along, but didn't think it _meant_ anything. That means it meant something, and I will keep you posted one what occurs.

I've written far too much as it is for now!

Remus

**The tenth owl: Sirius Black to Severus Snape**

Sinvillus, you greasy-haired prick. If I find out that any of these rumors are true, and that you played any part in making Remus do this, I will get you. Not like last year. I will do it myself this time and there will be no James Potter to save your life.

Sirius Black


	3. Owls Eleven through Fifteen

Written in much the same way as Richardson's _Clarissa_, this is a love story of sorts, told through intimate (or not) letters. Remus/Severus

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything but the plot I have come up with. Having said this, leave me alone.

**Owl Post (Owls Eleven-Fifteen)**

_By Sarah Elisabeth_

**The eleventh owl: Severus Snape to Remus J. Lupin**

Lupin, you know _exactly _what it is I'm talking about. You being _nice_ to me during class. _Friendly_ even outside of class. Getting me to spend time with you so you could _kiss me_? And you've told your friends all about it of course, and I'm sure you're all having a great laugh right now. Tell Black to stop harassing me and that I want nothing to do with either one of you. I don't get the meaning of this whole joke, but I get that it means nothing.

Leave me alone werewolf.

Severus Snape.

**The twelfth owl: Remus J. Lupin to Severus Snape**

Severus, it wasn't a joke. _This_ isn't a joke! I was _nice_ to you during class because we were working together. I had to be nice if I wanted to get any of my work done. I was _friendly_ outside of class because perhaps I liked your company. Did that ever cross your mind? And, if you want to know the truth, yes, I did get you to spend time with me so that I could kiss you. And yes, I told all my friends about it. Why? Because I _liked_ kissing you Severus Snape, and I'm going to kiss you again.

You know very well that you enjoyed it, and had it not been for your stupid…pride?..,I don't even know…we would have continued kissing for a bit longer than we did. It was a great kiss. Admit it.

_You liked it_

Remus

**The thirteenth owl: Remus J. Lupin to Sirius Black**

Padfoot, mate, are you harassing Severus? Please stop, you're really not helping me much by doing that.

I was just writing you back to let you know that my brain is perfectly fine and the only brain that seems addled to me is yours.

Please try to have a decent holiday and leave Severus alone.

Happy Christmas,

Moony

**The fourteenth owl: Severus Snape to Remus J. Lupin**

Very funny werewolf. Very funny indeed. I wash my hair every day and the last thing I needed for Christmas was a bottle of shampoo. If you really are vying for my affections as you told me earlier today, you have a very bad way of doing it.

**The fifteenth owl: Remus J. Lupin to Lily Evans**

Happy Christmas Lily! I hope yours has been as wonderful as mine has.

It would appear that I am well on my way to completing what I set out to do. I managed to corner Severus in the library yesterday. He tried to attack me with silver spoon, but I managed to get him to drop it. After he calmed down a bit we had a conversation. Very private stuff, he'd hex me if he knew I was repeating any of it, so I won't, but he's managed to realize that I'm not out to kill him or anything. That's a start if I've ever seen one.

"You're a queer, and you'd better keep your hands off me," he yelled. I laughed, of course, and said, "Well, you'd better keep your hands off of me as well, because I've never seen anyone quite as queer as you."

Then he punched me.

Split my lip and everything, he did. And he felt bad about it, too. So I used that to my advantage and when he hesitated, I kissed him again.

He punched me again, of course. But it's all in good fun, I'm sure of it.

I'll let you know more when it happens.

Give everyone my love,

Remus

--

_I've had many hits on this story, yet no comments? Please let me know what you think, or I might just not continue. _


	4. Owls Sixteen through Twenty

Written in much the same way as Richardson's _Clarissa_, this is a love story of sorts, told through intimate (or not) letters. Remus/Severus. I think some might find Remus Lupin to seem slightly out of character, but remember, you don't really know what he was like in school, so he could have been quite different from what he became when older. Let's pretend, hmm?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything but the plot I have come up with. Having said this, leave me alone.

**Owl Post (Owls Sixteen-Twenty)**

_By Sarah Elisabeth_

**The sixteenth owl: James Potter to Remus J. Lupin**

Remus,

I'm not quite sure where to begin, really. Sirius is, too put it lightly, pissed off and quite certain that you've been brainwashed. Have you?

I'm not even sure _why_ he's so angry. Yeah, we hate Snape, but I think there's a bit more to it. What do you think?

Anyway, Christmas was great. The only thing missing was your company mate. Although, I guess you wanting to stay at Hogwarts makes sense now. I thought it was because of the full moon being so soon after Christmas and all.

I'm trying to calm things down with Sirius. I think he's stopped writing Snape at least, so that's a start. He cares for you, Moony, he's just stupid when it comes to showing it and I'm sure he just thinks that Snape is out to get you. Werewolf bits would probably make a great potion or something.

Whatever happens, I've got your back.

Prongs.

**The seventeeth owl: Remus J. Lupin to Severus Snape**

Severus,

James and Sirius reckon that you are after my werewolf bits. I do hope this is so.

Affectionately yours,

Remus

**The eighteenth owl: Severus Snape to Remus J. Lupin**

Fuck you, one and all. I want nothing to do with this _affection_ you speak of, _werewolf_.

**The nineteenth owl: Severus Snape to Evan Rosier**

Evan,

Suffice it to say that I have no clue how to begin this letter, or for that matter, this story that I am in great need of telling _someone_. As my most trusted confidant, I must therefore begin somewhere, or not at all. So I chose to begin with that infernal Gryffindor, Remus Lupin.

There are things that I cannot share with you for fear of breaking confidence with Dumbledore, but let me start by putting it into your head that this _boy_ is not as innocent as one would think a Gryffindor to be—quite the opposite—he is a scheming, dark, annoyance. Nothing that I would ever want to be associated with. (Notice please, that I have said 'nothing' instead of 'nobody' for it matters a great deal.)

Now, having shared with you my dislike of said Gryffindor, I am resolute in telling you that this Lupin is after me. Indeed, he is after me in ways which I would rather not have anyone of our sex be after me in.

Can you believe me Evan, when I say that this _Lupin _has _kissed_ me? Speak of this to anyone and I will make sure you are never to be found, Rosier, be sure of it. Yet, back to what I said, he kissed me. Without my permission might I add, when I was minding my own business. He's been stalking me since the beginning of the year, somehow getting partnered with me in Potions and feigning innocence when I catch him staring at me.

He's got this Gryffindor persona down so well, that no one who isn't looking for it notices that he is anything but a simple Gryffindor. Indeed, and don't you dare think of reacting to this, because I know that were I telling you this instead of writing to you, you would give me a _look_, and I hate looks that aren't _mine_, indeed, were he not in Gryffindor I am quite positive he would have been in Slytherin. It's got quite a lot to do with what I have been hinting at about Lupin throughout this whole letter that I am quite certain you are too dense to notice.

Anyway, this Lupin is after me and I don't know what to do. There are still days before the school is once again full of students, and quite honestly, I am horrified at the prospect of running into him alone in the halls. Or the library. Or, God forbid, the bathroom. Lord knows what he might try.

Did you know he accused me of being after his—well, he's accused me of some horrific things.

Don't believe anything you hear from anyone else. I alone will tell you the truth. Also, if I hear any of what I am telling you in the halls, I will know you let this information out and, like promised above, I will make sure that you will never be found again.

The ever trustworthy,

Severus Snape.

**The twentieth owl: Severus Snape to Sirius Black**

What I decide to do with or _to_ your precious werewolf is my own business.

Don't tempt me to do something I have no desire to.

---

_So, what do you think? I really appreciate all the comments I have been receiving. Please keep commenting to let me know what you think._


	5. Owls Twenty one through Twenty five

Written in much the same way as Richardson's _Clarissa_, this is a love story of sorts, told through intimate (or not) letters. Remus/Severus. I think some might find Remus Lupin to seem slightly out of character, but remember, you don't really know what he was like in school, so he could have been quite different from what he became when older. Let's pretend, hmm?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything but the plot I have come up with. Having said this, leave me alone.

**Owl Post (Owls Twenty-one-Twenty-five)**

_By Sarah Elisabeth_

**The twenty-first owl: Severus Snape to Remus J. Lupin**

Lupin, I think you will shortly come to discover that I can be just as good at games as you are. In fact, you may be quite distraught to realize that, not only can I play games, but I am adept at winning them. Do not partake in a game you do not wish to finish, werewolf, for I will beat you thoroughly and leave you worse for the wear.

You would also do well to stop popping up at every corner. How you manage to know exactly where I am at any given moment is something I do not know for sure—though I have my suspicions.

I am watching you carefully, Lupin. Do not tempt my temper.

**The twenty-second owl: Remus J. Lupin to Severus Snape**

Severus,

I wouldn't dare tempt your temper, Severus! But were I only able to tempt you in other ways you would not soon attempt to escape from me!

I do not doubt your ability to play games. No doubt in my mind, you are more than qualified. Were anyone able to witness all you are putting me through, they would not doubt it either.

Remus J. Lupin

**The twenty-third owl: Evan Rosier to Severus Snape**

Severus,

I attempted to respond to your last owl about a dozen times, yet I couldn't stop laughing for long enough a period to actually get my handwriting to be legible.

Who would have ever believed that someone would be pining for _you_ of all people? The sneaky, snarky, Slytherin Severus Snape? The greasy, grumpy git that Hogwarts seems to hate? And of all people, wanted by the goody-goody, generous, gentle Gryffindor Remus Lupin!

But, I must correct myself, for you claim him to be conniving, threatening even. I'm sure he is. Of course he is! (For you say he lurks waiting in the bathroom?)

All joking aside, why not have fun with it? As you said, I am your most trusted confidant, and I would not judge or betray you. If this Remus Lupin appears to be attracted to you, why not attempt to try it out while the school is away on holiday? You will never have another chance like this one.

And if all else fails, you can have some fun at the silly Gryffindor's expense.

Do keep me informed of the situation.

Your friend,

Evan Rosier.

**The twenty-fourth owl: Severus Snape to Remus J. Lupin**

Hah! Hah, hah, hah, hah! You do tempt me Lupin, but in ways different from those which you so basely imagine.

Perhaps we should quit this foolish letter writing and—if you give me your word to stay off my person—actually _talk_ about this stupidity you seem to be afflicted with.

Hah! I cannot but continue laughing at your perverseness, Lupin. Perverse indeed.

Your very amused, though unwilling acquaintance,

Severus Snape

**The twenty-fifth owl: Remus J. Lupin to Severus Snape**

Yes! Library, by the restricted section! Meet me there the moment you receive this and we will discuss this all.

To think that you were laughing! It is my turn to laugh at this. Hah!

I am waiting at this very moment.

Remus Lupin

---

_So? What do you think? Things will start to get interesting after this point, I hope. Please let me know what you're thinking about this little story of mine. I will attempt to get the next chapter to be a bit longer, hmm?_


	6. Official Hogwarts Business

Written in much the same way as Richardson's _Clarissa_, this is a love story of sorts, told through intimate (or not) letters. Remus/Severus. I think some might find Remus Lupin to seem slightly out of character, but remember, you don't really know what he was like in school, so he could have been quite different from what he became when older. Let's pretend, hmm?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything but the plot I have come up with. Having said this, leave me alone.

**Owl Post (Official Hogwarts Business: Teacher's Notes)**

_By Sarah Elisabeth_

**Official Hogwarts Business: Teacher's Notes: From the Desk of Albus Dumbledore**

Quite odd. Quite, quite odd. I must say that there is something very unexpected going on during this holiday. It seems (but I _must_ be mistaken) that Remus Lupin—_Remus Lupin?_—is harassing Severus Snape. Severus looks horrified every time the boy comes near him.

Could it be possible that Remus is giving in to his werewolf self? I wouldn't even begin to think it…but what else could account for this behavior? What to do, what to do?

I know Severus wouldn't even dream of letting Remus' secret out to the school…but who knows what he may be capable of if threatened, and Remus (I still, _must_ be mistaken!) certainly does appear to be threatening.

I assume I must pay more attention to them. My mind has unfortunately been geared towards other matters, and, quite frankly, up until now Remus Lupin has been the least of my worries.

I do hate to spy on my students (hahaha! I made a joke!) but I think it is quite important to figure this problem out.

**Official Hogwarts Business: Teacher's Notes: From the Desk of Minerva McGonagall**

Remus Lupin is quite possibly the kindest boy in this school. No need to worry about him. If anyone should be worried it's Remus. The looks Severus gives him are…I don't even know what to call them!

Poor Mr. Lupin.

**Official Hogwarts Business: Teacher's Notes: From the Desk of Horace Slughorn**

Let me relay upon this staff an even of notice I happened to come upon.

Who: Remus Lupin and Severus Snape

Where: Library

When: Yesterday night, eight perhaps?

I was looking for a text on Potions in the restricted section when I heard whispers. Quietly (ever so quietly) I made my way over to the sounds, making sure I remained hidden. The following is what I heard. (Very unexpected!) I will put my own comments in parenthesis as to not confuse you with this conversation.

RL: I didn't think you would come.

SS: Who do you think I am, Lupin? I was the one who called this meeting in the first place.

RL: Yes, yes, I know. But I think, if you recall, that the last time we met you punched me. Twice.

SS: Yes, but the last time we met you…did something that deserved a good punch in the face.

(Now, at this point, I had no idea what either one was talking about, but it didn't take long before things started to get a little more clear. Oh, how unexpected!)

RL: I wasn't lying, you know.

SS: Neither was I. I don't want anything to do with this.

RL: So why didn't you push me away the first time I did it!

SS: I was shocked! I didn't know what to do!

RL: I assure you, Severus, the way you were kissing me, I would have never known you were shocked into not knowing what to do.

(Yes. I assure you, this is all correct. I've watched this memory in my pensive over and over again. He did indeed say _kissing_.)

SS: Watch it werewolf. I want nothing to do with you.

RL: That's too bad because I'm pregnant.

SS: (I think he's rolling his eyes at this point.)

RL: And you're the father. You're going to have to support this baby.

SS: You're so perverse. I want a paternity test. (And, I believe he's smiling!)

RL: I'm not a slut, Severus. Is this what you're implying?

(Okay, it took me a while to realize that this was a joke…but I got it around here. Kids and their sense of humor!!)

SS: That's still to be determined. Why are you interested in me?

(Something I'm sure all of us would like to know. Severus is one of my own, but he's not the most amicable of students.)

RL: Ahh. Now we get to the real conversation. Because you're you. I like you.

SS: Well, thanks. But my question was _why_.

RL: Why don't _you_ like me?

SS: I'm not a queer.

RL: You could have fooled me. I—

(And this is where I end this.)

For, you see, at that very moment, Severus (I can't believe I'm writing this) _jumped_ onto young Mr. Lupin and…well…he…you know. Lips. Spit. Hands all over. It was…well…it was.

And I ran out of there as quick as I could.

I don't feel much comfortable with it. But it's not my business anyway.

Which is why I've shared it with all of you, who might be better able to deal with this.

**Official Hogwarts Business: Teacher's Notes: From the Desk of Albus Dumbledore**

Well, that _is_ unexpected!

---

_Hmm..something different to go on? Please let me know what you think._


	7. Owls Twenty six through Thirty

Written in much the same way as Richardson's _Clarissa_, this is a love story of sorts, told through intimate (or not) letters. Remus/Severus. I think some might find Remus Lupin to seem slightly out of character, but remember, you don't really know what he was like in school, so he could have been quite different from what he became when older. Let's pretend, hmm?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything but the plot I have come up with. Having said this, leave me alone.

**Owl Post (Owls Twenty-six - Thirty)**

_By Sarah Elisabeth_

**The twenty-sixth owl: Remus J. Lupin to James Potter**

Good God in Heaven! Oh, glorious powers that be! What to say? What to do? I am speechless! Oh, James, you will find this owl very disturbing, but I am in no mood to care!

Severus Snape kissed me!

I thought he hated me! But he doesn't!

What I would have thought were someone to tell me that Severus Snape would willingly kiss a werewolf! Preposterous! He'd hit me again, for sure! But no, he, of his own accord, jumped me—_jumped me_—and kissed me. In the Library. By the Restricted Section. It was glorious.

Oh, his hands holding my face, his lips against mine! The taste of a bitterly sarcastic prince!

It was wondrous. Simply wondrous.

I will write more to you later.

Your friend, werewolf now turned giddy female,

Remus (or should I say Rhonda?) J. Lupin

**The twenty-seventh owl: James Potter to Remus J. Lupin**

Rhonda,

I can call you Rhonda now, can't I? You were correct in assuming that your letter would disturb me. In fact, I do believe I threw up a little in my mouth while reading it. However, mate, it wasn't because I'm disgusted by you, it's because I'm disgusted with imagining Snape kissing anyone. Imagining Snape having a life. Imagining Snape…god, I might through up again!

What I mean to say is, I am happy for you. Still, this is _Snape_ we're talking about. And I don't trust him. At all. He might have some sort of…plot…to do something…evil…or…I don't know…Snape-like.

Just make sure to watch your back. Oh, god…I just got a very bad image with that sentence. DO watch your back, PLEASE. And if you don't…do NOT under any circumstances let me know about it.

Again, the last thing I need to hear is about you and Snape…doing things. God.

Okay, I'm waiting for an update anyway.

Prongs.

**The twenty-eighth owl: Sirius Black to Remus J. Lupin**

Moony,

You've been ignoring me. I stopped bothering Snivillus. You don't have to ignore me anymore.

Moony, I don't trust him. I hate him, in fact. Actually, if there were a way to go back in time and stop him from existing, I find that my hatred for him would allow me to do that.

Moony, I don't…I don't like not talking to you. You're my best friend. You mean everything to me, Moony.

I…I think that I l

This holiday's been pretty awful without you. I can't wait to get back and then the Marauders will be reunited! What do you say to a day in Hogsmeade?

Take care (and please forgive me),

Sirius.

**The twenty-ninth owl: James Potter to Remus J. Lupin**

Rhonda,

What did you say to Sirius? He seems pretty upset. In fact, I've never even seen him this way before.

Fix it! I don't like him this way. He's bringing everyone down.

PLEASE

Prongs.

**The thirtieth owl: Peter Pettigrew to Remus J. Lupin**

Remus,

I heard that you were

Are you really

You're queer!?!?!

How is everything? I hope you are doing well. Ummm…I just wanted to let you know that I think you are a good friend.

And only a friend.

I'm not gay, so please don't think

Because I know we've seen each other changing

I mean, I've seen you in your underwear

I can't wait to see you!

Peter.

Haha oh, Peter, always the awkward one. Anyway, this is short, but you can't expect busy people to be able to write long letters all the time. Please let me know what you think.


	8. Owls Thirty one through Thirty five

Written in much the same way as Richardson's _Clarissa_, this is a love story of sorts, told through intimate (or not) letters. Remus/Severus. I think some might find Remus Lupin to seem slightly out of character, but remember, you don't really know what he was like in school, so he could have been quite different from what he became when older. Let's pretend, hmm?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything but the plot I have come up with. Having said this, leave me alone.

**Owl Post (Owls Thirty one – Thirty five)**

_By Sarah Elisabeth_

**The thirty-first owl: Remus J. Lupin to Peter Pettigrew**

Peter,

I must say, I am quite disheartened by your last owl. Only a friend dear, _dear_, Peter? I thought we were much more than that…I have seen you in your underwear after all.

And how could you forget that water fight we had that day in the lake? I thought we were getting along quite well that day.

Do get back to me with what your thoughts are.

Moony

**The thirty-second owl: Remus J. Lupin to James Potter**

What did _I_ do to Sirius? I didn't do anything! He wrote me a letter claiming he was sorry. I'm going to respond to it as soon as I finish this one. You'll have to let me know what's wrong with him, if he tells you.

I'll try to get the information out of him myself as well.

Moony

P.S. Peter seems to think that, since I'm gay, I want to bed him. I've sent him an owl that does nothing to alleviate his fears, but after he freaks out a bit, perhaps you could let him know that he's being an idiot and that I want nothing to do with him? Besides being a friend of course. He's a bit thick, but a good friend, hmm?

**The thirty-third owl: Remus J. Lupin to Sirius Black**

Sirius,

I wasn't ignoring you. Or at least, I didn't think I was. Did you write me any letters after your last one? You didn't. Still, I accept your apology, and I would love for us all to spend a day together at Hogsmeade (when don't we), but I would also like to know what brought about this crazy sentimentalism. Also, I need you to accept that Severus and I might have something together…I'm not entirely sure yet if there is something to be made of what we have, but I do like him a lot, Sirius, and while I don't need your permission to be with him, as my best friend, I would like it if you were happy for me.

James wrote to me saying that you haven't been your usual self lately. Care to explain why? We're worried about you mate. Especially me. I love you a lot, mate. Cheer up!

Remus

**The thirty-fourth owl: Remus J. Lupin to Severus Snape**

Severus,

Where are you hiding? Not that I require an answer, as I know _exactly_ where you are (hah hah!), but why aren't you coming out of the Slytherin common room anymore? If I recall the other night's events correctly, you asked to meet me and then kissed me. Not that I'm complaining or anything, but then I also wouldn't complain at being able to reenact the nights events once more.

Can I be frank and say that I didn't expect to be able to get you to feel the same as I did so quickly? I'm glad though. It makes for a lovely, though slightly late, Christmas gift.

I'm going to be a bit…indisposed for the next couple of days. What with the moon and all. Will I see you before tonight? I'd really like to be able to actually discuss what's going on this time. You couldn't possibly not want to discuss it too, could you?

Either way, I'll see you around.

Remus.

**The thirty-fifth owl: Severus Snape to Evan Rosier**

I have done something I regret. I am beyond disgusted with myself. I have given in to base temptation and…I don't know.

And what?

I can't for the life of me think if what I did was out of spite or out of actual desire.

I actually _kissed_ that Lupin, Evan. I didn't kiss him back, I initiated it!

Kill me, would you? Save me the trouble of having to put down a lovesick puppy.

Once again, repeat this and never see the light of day again.

An utterly confused, disgusted, displeased, and unhappy

Severus Snape

--

_Aaaand the plot thickens. Once again, please let me know what you think. I would like to thank everyone who has taken the time to review up to this point (especially those of you who review multiple chapters!). It's your reviews that let me decide how to carry on with this story. Thanks again. :)_


	9. Owls Thirty six through Forty

Written in much the same way as Richardson's _Clarissa_, this is a love story of sorts, told through intimate (or not) letters. Remus/Severus. I think some might find Remus Lupin to seem slightly out of character, but remember, you don't really know what he was like in school, so he could have been quite different from what he became when older. Let's pretend, hmm?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything but the plot I have come up with. Having said this, leave me alone.

**Owl Post (Owls Thirty six – Forty)**

_By Sarah Elisabeth_

**The thirty-sixth owl: Sirius Black to James Potter**

I'm confused. Really, I am. I hate Severus. And he's with Moony! Why would Remus like him? Of all people? He's disgusting! He's evil! He's Slytherin! He's SNAPE! SNIVILLUS. I don't even know why I'm this angry. I'd even been sending Snape threatening owls before.

I sound like a jealous girlfriend.

I almost tried to tell Remus I loved him in that last letter I wrote him.

But I don't like Remus that way, you know? I definitely don't. It's just that...I think I'm afraid that if he is in a relationship with Snape he might lose interest in us. Snape's EVIL. Remus is a werewolf. What would an evil person want with a werewolf?? He'll...I don't know...experiment on him or something! Right? I don't think Remus would turn on any of us. He's not bad. But…Snape!

Am I truly mad for thinking this? I want Remus to be happy, really, I swear it! But just not with Snape. Not with that gross, greasy git.

Anyway, I got back home yesterday. I'm leaving again today. I picked up the rest of my things and I'm sending them ahead with this owl. I'll see you in a bit. We can discuss this more when I get back to the Hollow, alright?

Sirius

**The thirty-seventh owl: Peter Pettigrew to Remus J. Lupin**

Do you _really_ mean what you wrote? I'm not gay Remus.

But do you _really, really_ mean what you wrote?

Because if you _really_ meant it, and we are such good friends…

I never really thought about it before. I was just protecting myself from you but I guess if you _really, really_ like me…then what?

This is interesting to me.

But I'm not like that!

Peter

P.S. I do hope you're feeling better after the last moon. We all wish we could have been there with you. Not much longer until we're all back, though!

**The thirty-eighth owl: Evan Rosier to Severus Snape**

My, my, my, this is quite the development. Severus Snape—a man with a heart! Or perhaps simply a man with a penis? It's nice to know you're human, either way my good friend. Somewhat of a human anyway.

If you want to have my opinion, here it is: does it matter if you did it out of desire or spite? Either way, you can get yourself some well-deserved sexual gratification. If, afterwards, you realize you care, well hurrah for you! If you don't, like I said before, you've at least enjoyed yourself.

It's the Slytherin way, of course.

And in all honesty, what does poor Remus expect by getting involved with one of us? We don't play nice. It goes against our nature.

Good luck with all of it, and if you need some kissing practice—or maybe even tips on pleasing a man—do not hesitate practicing on me. It would be my pleasure as a friend to help you with this. (Dare I say that it's even your _duty_ as my friend to do this? Here's to wishful thinking!)

Evan.

**The thirty-ninth owl: Severus Snape to Evan Rosier**

Oh, bugger off!

And in regards to the beginning of your owl, I'll let you know what happens.

Severus.

**The fortieth owl: Remus J. Lupin to James Potter**

Prongs,

Didn't I tell you to let Peter in on the joke? Did I not specifically tell you to let him know I was kidding?

If this is true, which I swear to you it is, the tell me this, my dear James Potter:

WHY IS PETER PETTIGREW CLAIMING HE MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ME???

I don't know whether I want to laugh, cry, or kill myself. Where are the silver spoons when you need them?

Moony

-----

_So, there you have it! Chapter nine: complete! First of all, I apologize that it's short and that it took so long. I've had so many papers to write this semester, that well, this has kinda taken the back seat. I will continue to update as regularly as possible though, no worries! I'm sorry that there isn't so much action here, but with only five owls per chapter, I can't really control where the action goes. Ha! Let me know what you think! I've taken to waiting for a certain amount of reviews before updating. If I don't update, it's because no one's letting me know that they're reading. _


	10. Owls Forty one through Forty five

Written in much the same way as Richardson's _Clarissa_, this is a love story of sorts, told through intimate (or not) letters. Remus/Severus. I think some might find Remus Lupin to seem slightly out of character, but remember, you don't really know what he was like in school, so he could have been quite different from what he became when older. Let's pretend, hmm?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything but the plot I have come up with. Having said this, leave me alone.

**Owl Post (Owls Forty one – Forty five)**

_By Sarah Elisabeth_

**The forty-first owl: Severus Snape to Evan Rosier**

I think I've lost control of myself. This will surely lead to my end. Do you hear me, Evan? This is the end of _everything._

I'm sure I'm overreacting, but it's nonetheless ridiculous that I should find myself thinking about a Gryffindor with anything other than hatred on my mind. Do you know what I did, Evan? Not the _kissing_ bit, but afterwards. I sat there and thought about it and how it wasn't _completely_ revolting.

I'm asking you to kill me one more time. If you don't do it I will find someone else who will. I'd do it myself…but I'm really above such things. We can fake a duel, and I will go down with honor.

I think I'd like that.

Your friend, Severus.

**The forty-second owl: James Potter to Remus J. Lupin**

What on earth are you going on about!? I assure you, it is impossible for Peter to have any feelings for you. Having said that, I figured out what was wrong with Sirius. Everything is better now, but please do try to reassure him that nothing between us will change. He's definitely worried about you.

Still, he's normal enough that I found him snogging some muggle girl the other day. I don't even know if he knew her.

But at least it's a sign that he's getting back to normal?

We'll be back together soon!

James

**The forty-third owl: Remus J. Lupin to Peter Pettigrew**

Oh, Peter. I think you've misunderstood me.

Or actually, I don't think it's possible that you misunderstood me, seeing as I was very clear. Only, you see. It was really not meant that way at all. I _do_ care for you Peter, but not so much in the way you thought.

I was trying to be funny. I thought it would be a great joke—do you understand?

I mean…well…you really are great. And under different circumstances then….oh, God.

I'll see you in a couple of days.

Remus

**The forty-forth owl: Severus Snape to Remus J. Lupin**

Lupin,

How is it that you always know where I am? You said that I never come out of the common room anymore. I know for a fact that you've stopped following me around the school, so how can you know? I'd try to figure it out myself, but the last time I attempted to figure something out about you, well, you almost _killed_ me. Never mind that it was all Black's doing, I'm sure this has something to do with him, too, and I enjoy my life, thank you very much. (Or, at least I thought I did before you decided to make it more complicated than I thought life ever needed to be.)

I wasn't avoiding you. To let you know. Or, I was avoiding you, but not for the reasons you might think. You have proved to be quite different than I thought you were, and (repeat this to any one of those annoying people you speak to and you will find silver mixed into your next meal) I've found myself curious. Does that satisfy you at all? I am curious about you. Perhaps the kiss was a way to satisfy some of my curiosity? Research.

Sounds right to me.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is I would be willing to research…stuff…with you before everyone returns to Hogwarts at the end of next week.

Severus.

**The forty-fifth owl: Peter Pettigrew to Remus J. Lupin**

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

GUESS WHAT?

I GOT YOU REMUS!!!!!!!!!

What do you have to say for yourself now?!?!?!?!?

Always underestimating Peter Pettigrew, but I got you!

BEST JOKE EVER! (right, right?)

I sure had you going. It was the best.

(I only like men as friends.)

You thought you were the only one clever enough to pretend to like a friend. HAHAHAHA

Peter "Wormtail Is the Greatest" Pettigrew

-----

_Next chapter means students return to Hogwarts. That means more letters between Remus and Severus. What happens when Remus can't openly stalk the Slytherin? I'm not sure yet, either. Please review and let me know what you think. I don't get anywhere near as many reviews as I get hits per chapter. I know people are reading, but please let me know what your feelings are. (Or what you want to see happen etc. etc.) _


	11. Owls Forty six through Fifty

A/N: Umm…SO sorry about the delay! Actually, I forgot about this. I'm in my final year at University now, and find myself needing a distraction. So here it is! (Short, but more is on the way.)

**Owl Post (Owls Forty six – Fifty)**

_By Sarah Elisabeth_

**The forty-sixth owl: Remus J. Lupin to Severus Snape**

Severus,

My, my. Will wonders never cease? I think if you're still up for research, well then, I'm up for being studied. What do you say to meeting me after dinner? I'm asking, but I'm sure you want to as much as I do.

Remus

**The forty-seventh owl: Severus Snape to Remus J. Lupin**

Lupin,

Don't get cocky. It doesn't suit you.

I'll see you outside the Great Hall around 7:30, then.

Severus

**The forty-eighth owl: James Potter to Remus J. Lupin**

Remmy Rem!

Guess who's coming back TOMORROW?

We are, buddy, we are.

Lily says hello, and Sirius says hello, too.

I hope you've missed us properly. I expect to be greeted like a Hero returned from war.

Prongs

**The forty-ninth owl: Evan Rosier to Severus Snape**

Severus Snape, you scoundrel! Not long ago you were telling me how utterly revolting you found Remus Lupin, and now I get letters from you telling me that you're kissing him. Is it only kissing, Severus? I imagine Remus liking to be in control of things—how does that make _you_ feel? Have you been calling it research and meeting him again?

And can I watch?

**The fiftieth owl: Severus Snape to Evan Rosier**

Remember when I asked you to kill me?

How about I kill you instead?

See you tomorrow.

-Severus


	12. Potions Class

**Owl Post (Potions Class)**

_By Sarah Elisabeth_

In the middle of a Potions class, five students can be seen passing notes—had anyone bothered to look, that is.

The first note, in the shape of a rather large nose, was thrown at one James Potter from across the room, courtesy of one Sirius Black.

_Look at Snape. Do you see how smug he looks with Remus sitting next to him? He's not even trying to hide that he's enjoying Moony's company. He is actually ENJOYING Moony's company! I was positive that something was up with him. Is there? Am I missing anything? Remus said it was a mutual whatever it is…but is it really? Is it really Prongs?_

James Potter read the note carefully, occasionally looking up to stare at the two boys mentioned in the note, and then looking up to stare at the author, as well. He scrunched up his face in concentration and quickly scribbled something onto the back of the parchment, kicking it underneath the desks and back to Sirius.

_Yes, I do believe it is a mutual whatever it is. Remus said so. And I guess we have no choice but to believe him, right? When has he ever lied to us? And…if Snape likes him…well, there's nothing we can do. He wouldn't hurt him if he liked him, I assume. _

The note did nothing to alleviate Sirius' fears.

_But how can we be sure? Can anyone really be sure about anything where Snivillus is concerned? I still think something is up. I think that he's USING OUR MOONY so that he can get back at us for trying to kill him._

James Potter read the note and scoffed. His response:

_YOU tried to kill him, mate. I saved his greasy life._

A second note hits Sirius in the back of the head, crumpled and dirty. Peter Pettigrew waves eagerly, claiming ownership of the note.

_What are you and James passing notes about? Is it about Remus and Snape? Do you know that from where I'm seated, I can see Remus sliding his hands along Snape's thighs? I nearly vomited a bit in my cauldron. _

Sirius emits a strangled sound and jumps from his seat, nearly knocking over his chair in the process. He turns, horrified, to look at Remus and Snape. Snape glares at him, disgust evident on his features. Remus, frowns, confusion seen on his face. He jumps back into his seat after a quickly muttered "sorry" when he feels two notes hit him in the back.

The first one is from James: _What the hell was that about?_

The second is from Peter: _Haha I was kidding! Disgusting, I know, but it didn't call for that sort of reaction, did it?_

Sirius writes to Peter first: _It wasn't funny! I had…images! In my mind! Moooooonyyyy touching Snivellus! Don't tell me these things, Pete._

Then he writes to James: _I fucking hate Peter. He put…images! In my mind!_

Sirius charms both notes to fly to their intended recipients, then goes to work on his potion. It's already beyond repair, but he figures he should at least appear as though he's doing some work. It is as he's crushing his Antipodean Opaleye dragon eggshells a minute later that another note crawls up to him, in the shape of a wolf. The eggshells are immediately forgotten and Sirius grabs the note, knowing exactly who it's from before starting to read it:

_Was that jump earlier because you happened to catch Severus trying to grab my arse? Really, Sirius, it's nothing you've never done with all the girls you've been with._

Once again, Sirius jumps from his seat. This time, he shouts, "Oh, bloody hell!" and his chair flies back. He attempts to catch it, trips, knocks over his cauldron, and glares at Remus. "Bloody buggering hell!" Remus grins.

"SIRIUS BLACK!"

Sirius paled at stared at Professor Slughorn. "Ye-es?"

"15 points from Gryffindor. That is the second interruption from you this class period."

"Yessss…"

Slughorn frowned. "Are you ill, lad? What happened?"

Sirius coughed. "Just..um..images. In my mind. Is all."

From across the room, Severus snorted. "It's the Black family madness, is all."

"Shut up, Snivellus!" Sirius spat, then quickly sat down, cursing him under his breath.

Slughorn rubbed his hands along his stomach and went back to his seat. "Back to work now, everyone. Back to work!"

One final note hits Sirius that day:

_Don't worry, Padfoot. I've grabbed at Severus much more than he's ever grabbed at me. _

Sirius Black didn't know whether to cry or vomit. Later that day, he did a little bit of both.


End file.
